Eating the Essence Being.

Random thoughts about food floating out of my head into words.

Thursday, July 08, 2004

Still full from dinner...

It's time for a change. To what? Or for what? I don't know. I feel restless. I have this nagging feeling that time is passing and I'm stuck in the mud.

My friends and family want me to get married a pop out a few kids. I receive the usual lecture your getting older. It will be hard to find a guy. Act quickly. It sounds like there is a hidden sale for guys and I haven't found the department store. Or guys resemble produce and don't last too long. Which ever it is, isn't what I'm looking for.

My friend is seriously involved with a guy. It should motivate me but it isn't. I'm motivated to flirt and laugh but not breach the line, of conversation. I know if I find someone I can talk to, flirt with and laugh with, I'm sunk. Luckily or unluckily, I haven't found that combination.

What I have found is the motivation to try new things. Starting a web log is new and different. I have signed up for cooking classes later in the year. Or more recently, I made reservations for 1 for dinner. I've never dined alone at a restaurant. Eating alone for lunch has been done quite often but it usually occurs in front of a computer. It will be a new experience. I'm either trying to be more independent or preparing myself for my future. I vote for independent. In the future, I see company for most dinners.

What the company will be remains a mystery? What isn't a mystery any more, is I can be perfectly quiet for a good 5 to 10 minutes. That's an achievement for me. I'm usually very talkative. Today, I remained perfectly silent listening to my friend, (a one different than the one above). When I'm quiet she usually suspects, I'm in a bad mood. Not true, for today. I guess I want to change.

I've been told to move up the corporate ladder, I need to be more dignified and politically savvy. I don't know if I'm capable of that. I prefer laughing like a hyena and running around the office as if it were my playground. Some things never change....I'm nostalgic for the carefree days of childhood and I refuse to grow up. I wonder how that will effect me when I try to interview for a new job.

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